Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
Everybody felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mum’s at the Bingo and dad’s out smoking grass,
I’d just done google for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my wank to see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment it must be saint nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart!
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
I'm sure it was volcom on his XS that night
Everybody felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mum’s at the Bingo and dad’s out smoking grass,
I’d just done google for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my wank to see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment it must be saint nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart!
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
I'm sure it was volcom on his XS that night